Hi!

Today, I want to share a piece of my college journey. Honestly, the college I'm attending wasn't my top choice after high school. I had my sights set on UNJ and UNPAD through the PMDK route, but my parents weren't keen due to the higher living costs. I went for it anyway because I wanted that typical experience of studying at a state university. But alas, I fell short and got rejected by both, leading me to enroll in a local college.

You know what's been a constant passion since my school days? English! I can't quite put my finger on why, but there's something about English classes that I've always adored. Even the knotty bits like grammar; instead of giving me a headache, they ignited my curiosity to understand why English grammar functions as it does. Most of my friends thought I'd opt for English literature or education in college, but nope! I initially leaned towards English lit, feeling it was my forte, yet upon deeper reflection, I considered the practicality of my major choice for my future career. So, I began exploring potential career paths with an English degree. Surprisingly, there are quite a few, like being an English teacher, translator, tour guide, hotel staff, or working on ships. Sadly, these opportunities are scarce where I live, mostly thriving in big cities. That's a worry because I prefer working close to home.

The only viable English-related profession here seems to be teaching, but it might not align with my somewhat introverted nature. I don't have a crystal-clear dream job, but I envision myself working for a company, behind the scenes, in an office setting. I know, I'm pretty laid-back. So, I sought another major that could potentially open doors across various fields. Coincidentally, during my final year of high school, I had a boyfriend (now ex) who suggested I consider accounting. He believed it offered diverse job prospects and assured me that my passion for English could still flourish even without majoring in it, as long as I keep learning. It sounded reasonable, so I opted for accounting.

To be honest, I'm still uncertain whether this decision will shape my future positively or if I'll regret it down the line. Now, in my fourth semester, none of the course material seems to stick, and I lack the enthusiasm or motivation to delve deeper into these subjects. However, I'm reluctant to retake courses. My English proficiency hasn't progressed much either; I'm swamped with studies, assignments, and trying to find time to rest. I often ponder how it would've been if I pursued English lit and faced these challenging subjects. Would I be as disinterested as I am now, or would I feel as exhilarated and challenged as I did in high school? Maybe they're right when they say having "interest" is key to staying motivated in learning. I don't have the answers, but one thing's for certain—I can't reverse time or alter my choice. All I can do now is give my best shot and strive to make it through. Hopefully, I haven't made the wrong choice!